Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell No More

Though we’ve known it’s been coming for awhile, the definitive repeal of DADT, the military policy prohibiting gays from serving openly, is really gone. In the words of our illustrious president, “Today, every American can be proud that we have taken another great step toward keeping our military the finest in the world and toward fulfilling our nation’s founding ideals.” My Colorado Senator, Mark Udall, also published a very fine editorial to commemorate the day, quoting Senator Barry Goldwater–“You don’t have to be straight to shoot straight”–and expanded on that view himself: “What counts is a fellow service member’s courage, loyalty, integrity, and commitment to the mission.” Here’s to the courage of all those who fought (and continue to fight).

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More of them or more willing to say it?

Today’s NYT had an article on the cities with the highest proportion of gay couples. Interestingly, the list doesn’t include many high-density cities or the well-known gay neighborhoods. The lack of historical data and rapidly changing social norms make it difficult to differentiate between whether there are simply more gay couples living in places like Rehoboth Beach, DE, or whether they’re simply more visible and more willing to disclose their orientation.

While this limitation means we cannot make  statements about the changing demographics in these cities, I think it does say something pretty profound about standards of acceptable social behavior in small towns and, to some extent, all over the country.

Different Kinds of Famlies

The NYT is running a series profiling the lives of New Yorkers. Today’s story was of some interest as it reflects the rapidly changing demographic that is the ‘family’ in the US today.

The article is not particularly well-written, in my opinion, but the first page or so offers at least a picture of how a non-nuclear family is working. It highlights the need to figure out new ways to measure and count households and individuals and couples and families. In addition, we have all of these extra relationships to examine. I’d certainly think that your relationship with your non-romantic (ever), gay father of your child is going to affect your decision making, and probably differently than would your relationship with your romantic partner/father of your child.